BECAUSE:
1) A sudden increase in the boll weevil population may wipe out the cotton crop for the next 10 years,
2) It keeps without refrigeration,
3) It insulates the cupboard where it is kept,
4) You never have to feed it, change it or wipe it's nose,
5) It is on sale,
6) You need the extra weight in the boot of your car for traction when driving on wet roads,
7) You don't have to cook it to enjoy it,
8) Like dust, it's good for protecting empty space in the house, e.g. the ironing board, the wash basket, the dining room table…
9) Stress from dealing with the Fabric Control Officer (Husband) makes one do it,
10) It's not immoral, illegal or fattening,
11) It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul and make one feel good,
12) It's the food for the soul,
13) YOU ARE WORTH IT,
14) The one who dies with the most fabric, wins.
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