20 Quilting Comebacks, Putdowns, Insults, & Funnies

Quilters have feelings too! Sometimes a funny saying, putdown, insult, and/or comeback can give you the room to work in peace that you need. Please use caution when using the following words, as they may upset, insult, and make people laugh:

- You're as hot as a quilter's iron! 
- You're as subtle as a pricking needle! 
- You're more nervous than a quilter checking out at a fabric store! 
- I've seen prettier eyes on needles! 
- You're as happy as a quilter in a fabric store! 
- You're suggestions are as welcome as a grape juice stain on the last
-- piece of solid white fabric I need to finish a quilt! 
- I've got scissors sharper than your wit! 
- You're as helpful as a crooked rotary ruler! 
- You're mouth is faster than a sewing machine at full speed! 
- I've got quilts that are more interesting than you! 
- You're duller than a blunt needle! 
- You're as confused as a quilter who ran out of thread! 
- You're as welcome as a paper thimble! 
- I've seen feet move faster on a sewing machine! 
- You're more nervous than fabric near scissors! 
- You've got more wrinkles than a piece of fabric fresh out of a dryer! 
- You're about as interesting as ironing 10 yards of fabric! 
- I've got more thread clinging onto my shirt than you have hair! 
- You're jokes are as tantalizing as a piece of muslin! 
- You're more frustrating than a bobbin out of thread!


Unfortunately I cannot remember where I found this and I hate not giving credit to the person who came up with this but it was just too good not to share.  Enjoy!